Today, I start Step 3 of my Nicotine replacement regimen, with 7mg patches. This is a 7mg step-down from the 14mg patches, which I was on for a couple of weeks. I made the transition from 21mg to 14mg pretty painlessly, so I am hoping that this step down will be just as easy.

It's been 7 weeks since my last cigarette, on April 15th. I'm pretty impressed with my success so far. I'm still chomping on straws, and I know I've gained a little weight, but I'm past the worst of the process. The next hurdle will be going off the Nicotine patches completely 2 weeks from now... please be patient with me during that time period!

I want to give a special thank you to [personal profile] snousle for helping me obtain the full regimen of patches. Thank you, Tony!
Today marks one month since I quit smoking (I had my last cigarette on April 15th).

Mostly, I'm fine with it, having substituted straws for smokes, and I am still on the 21mg patches (with the accompanying wild dreams). Soon, I will step down to the 14mg patches for a few weeks, followed by the 7mg patches, and eventually, no patches (that step I am afraid of).

I've been able to resist when around other smokers, and I've only gained 4 pounds (up to 416), so it's good so far. Most days I don't find myself wanting a cigarette, which is a real positive.
Slept from about 9pm until midnight, then woke up, thanks to the nap I took this afternoon. Usually it's depression that affects my sleep cycle thus, but now it's the cigarette withdrawals (It's Thursday now, which is day 8).

I don't really want to be up right now, but my body isn't cooperating. Still having trouble concentrating, so I can't seem to focus on anything for long.

Trying to find something constructive to do. Thanks heavens I don't have work to go to tomorrow, though I do have F.L.A.R.E. class to attend at noon.
kevyn: (Default)
( Apr. 22nd, 2009 11:23 am)
Today marks one week since I smoked my last cigarette!

And no one has been killed.

I desperately need to do laundry. I don't have any clean socks left!

Unfortunately, I spent all my money on nicotine patches, so I don't have money for laundry. Grrrrr... But on the positive side, I haven't had a cigarette for 5 days now!

11 days until I get paid... I just have to make it 11 more days...

QuitMeter Counter courtesy of
kevyn: (Default)
( Apr. 17th, 2009 10:00 am)
So I got up this morning, had breakfast with my neighbour, Yoshe, took off my nicotine patch and showered, and then did some work on the computer.

As I did that, I gradually realized I was starting to get agitated, anxious, sucking on the straw wasn't helping, I'm starting to get antsy, free-floating angry feelings, let me make some tea, take my meds, oh boy what's going on, I'm jittery and itchy all over, why can't I distract myself...?

Oh. DUH!

I forgot to put a fresh nicotine patch!

No wonder I felt like I was crawling out of my skin! That was nicotine withdrawals I was experiencing!

I slapped on a fresh patch, threw on some shorts, and went out for a 15-minute walk around the neighbourhood (sucking on my straw all the way) while I waited for the nicotine patch to take effect.

Ahhhh... I feel much better now.
I smoked my last cigarette. I'm out.

Now the fun begins.

I'm already having mini panic attacks... but that's just psychological. The nicotene patches will ameliorate the actual physical withdrawals.

To all my friends: please be patient with me over the next few days.

And I'm going to need help. Someone, come over and distract me, please!
Today is my smoking "Quit Day."

I have 3 cigarettes left, and a bunch of nicotine patches.

Heaven help us all.
Ponder these words and shudder...
For the impossible is possible
(Just not always very likely).

So. I'm doing what I haven't tried in a couple of years: Quitting Smoking.

I've done it hundreds of times before, so I know I can successfully quit.

Staying quit, now that's the hard part.

Thanks to a gift from a friend, I have nicotine patches.

Thanks to the Washington Quit Line coach for the Quit Date. Let the stages of grief begin.

And Thanks to the SCHIP program for making cigarettes too fucking expensive for me to buy!!!!!!

AAAAAAARG! I Don't wanna quit! I don't wannaaaaa quit... waaaaah waaaah waaah


(OK, better. Apologies for the outburst of the Id.)

Now I need to go buy some straws to replace my oral fixation.
This morning, I paid $7.60 for a pack of Marlboros at the local grocery store.


The new federal cigarette taxes went into effect today,, TRIPLING the federal tax on tobacco to $1.0066 per pack. Here in Washington State, this federal tax is on top of one of the HIGHEST state cigarette taxes in the nation, $2.025 per pack. That means that smokers here in Washington, like me, are paying $3.03 per pack in taxes.

I can't afford this anymore!

I understand why they are raising the taxes: to pay for child health care. And I'm all for that. It's also the best way to discourage smoking: taxing is always a better alternative to prohibition, which just criminalizes addiction (As a nicotine addict myself, I know that, were it made illegal, I'd end up in jail, because making something illegal won't stop me from getting my fix).

But raising the prices through taxation will.

Which brings me to my dilemma: I simply can't afford to smoke any more. My income is so limited that it's simply no longer possible. I've been scrambling for months to support my nicotine habit, and I've barely kept on top of things. But I'm clearly not going to be able to do that any more.

So I have two choices: Quit, or start stealing to support my habit. (And I know myself very well -- I *will* steal if I am jonesing bad enough.)

I don't want to quit. I really don't. I love smoking. I love it more than life itself, because I'm willing to keep doing something that will kill me.

But it seems that the choice is being taken out of my hands.

I'm going to have to quit. And I'm terrified, because I know what happens to me when I haven't had my nicotine fix. It's worse than heroin.

So. If I am going to quit, I am going to need help. Desperately.

I've been most successful quitting in the past with nicotine patches. But right now,
I can't afford nicotine patches. And unlike cigarettes, I can't just walk up to someone on the street and ask to bum a nicotine patch, the way I can for a cigarette. And unlike cigarettes, nicotine patches aren't sold in individual packs the way cigarettes are. I have to buy a whole box of patches at a time, and these cost around $20-$30 apiece. *sigh*

So here's what I need: I need someone to help me buy nicotine patches. Yes, I know, I'm annoying about bumming cigarette money. But this time, I'm asking for help for a good cause.

If you want to help me quit smoking, please donate!

Seriously. I'm broke until the 1st. I'll pay you back then.

kevyn: (Default)
( Mar. 17th, 2009 01:22 pm)
I had an appointment with a podiatrist this morning (Dr. Michael Sherwin @ Family Foot Care) to look at my feet. He examined them, took x-rays, and concurred that I need new orthodics. I have an appointment for April 10 to get that done.

He also found that, at some point in the past, I broke one of the metatarsal bones in my left foot, which has healed since. I have no memory of this ever happening, but I've had so much foot pain in my life that it's possible I didn't recognize it as a break at the time, and thought it was gout, plantar fasciitis, or the excessive pronation that I do when I walk.

He also found a pinched nerve in the middle of my right foot, and gave me a cortizone injection in the foot (ouch) and told me to stay off my feet for the next couple of days. Which means I can't go to the food bank like I had planned tomorrow afternoon.

Can anyone go to the store for me to get some groceries and cigarettes in the meantime?
kevyn: (Default)
( Feb. 16th, 2009 12:15 pm)
Thank you to the friend who sent the money. It will be paid forward!

Happy happy nicotine buzz...
I just woke up after having slept 16 hours, all last night and all day today.

Right knee is still a serious problem. The pain has shifted from inside the joint itself to the soft tissue around the knee -- muscle and tendon -- especially the back of the knee. Swelling seems to have subsided, but the pain has not. Hurts to lay on it in certain positions, and painkillers -- Naproxen and Tylenol -- don't seem to help much.

Getting up from bed hurts, anytime I have to exert my knee it hurts. Still hobbling around, using the cane. And my right hip is aching now, too, I suspect because of all of the unnatural positions I am having to put it in to keep weight off the knee.

Was supposed to go to the food bank today, but slept through it. Couldn't bear the pain of carrying bags of groceries. I'm almost out of food, and have no more food stamps. Out of cigarettes, too.

Haven't left the apartment since Faerie Coffee on Saturday morning. All I've done for days is slept and watched Babylon 5.

I feel like I'm falling apart.
Because WTA isn't running today, I asked my friend [ profile] seespikerun to drive me to the ATM, and then to Haggen to get some groceries and smokes (I got my January disability disbursement from DSHS today -- time to pay rent!). I went to the WECU ATM on campus, because it disburses $5 bills. One of the bills was another Where's George bill:

Cool! I gave it to Alex to pay him back for the $5 I borrowed from him to buy cigarettes last week.

Where will it go next?
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I'd clear out the Cigarettes.
kevyn: (Default)
( Jun. 27th, 2008 03:42 pm)
(For [ profile] kennapea)

I scanned my face and everything I was carrying on my person for the Face Your Pockets project ( At the time, I was carrying a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, my high school class ring (FKHS 1986), a Cingular cell phone that doesn't work, my keys, a handkerchief, my wallet on a chain, and a little LEGO figurine of Hagrid attached to the chain.

kevyn: (Default)
( Dec. 1st, 2007 01:32 am)
Outside the snow falls
Content inside my cocoon
I've stocked cigarettes
AAAAAGH! I'm having major nicotene withdrawals. I'm edgy, jumpy, hostile... and broke. Great, just great.

Anyone want to volunteer to be an enabler for me here and send me $6.50 via PayPal so I can go buy smokes?

Seriously, I'm begging for money for cigaretttes. Save me from having to go panhandle on streetcorners or smoking butts out of ashtrays.

Donate here:



kevyn: (Default)


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