I am so grateful for Dylan taking me to the ER this evening, and sitting there with me for almost 5 hours as they hooked me up to an EKG, took X-rays, took blood work, urine samples, and blowing into a peak flow metre.

So. I have Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). In other words, I've fucked up my lungs. From chain smoking smoking rubber bullets for 20+ years (I started at age 18, in order to impress a guy.)

It's not entirely reversible. I'm only 40, and it's not severe yet, so some of the damage can be undone (by quitting smoking!). But it will never fully go away. I'll always be short of breath.

I have an inhaler now, and I need to lose some weight, fairly rapidly to gain some of my lung capacity back, which was being pushed aside by the fat. Hopefully, the lithium was the cause of the massive weight gain that triggered all this, so I should start dropping again.

That is all.
.

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