At some point you stop worrying about what you have done to yourself and how others might judge you (even though we know half of that is just the depressed mind). You know what's best for you, so move in that direction:

Fuck the state mandate (although it's really something to be thankful for)
Fuck worrying about quitting smoking (for the near future)
Fuck worrying about what you can't do
Stop worrying about what you didn't do

Don't worry about the past. Don't worry about the future. Don't even worry about being logical. Do you feel a little better now than you did before? Just hold onto that. Just try to use that as momentum.

Keep telling your brain to not to think about the big picture right now (I know it's hard). Just enjoy your accomplishment...

Yes, I drank the Kool-Aid at Weight Watchers:)

Hugs,
Sara