BROKER: What my financial planner has made me.
Mom sent me this email forward that made me LOL, so I guess I have to share it. (Source: Unknown/viral)
New Stock Market Terms
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET: a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER: What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO!: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share..
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT: an archaic word no longer in use.
New Stock Market Terms
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET: a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER: What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO!: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share..
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT: an archaic word no longer in use.
