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Mom sent me this email forward that made me LOL, so I guess I have to share it. (Source: Unknown/viral)
New Stock Market Terms
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET: a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER: What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO!: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share..
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT: an archaic word no longer in use.
New Stock Market Terms
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET: a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER: What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO!: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share..
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT: an archaic word no longer in use.
OK, since all of my friends are doing this meme, I guess I'll jump on the bandwagon.
Ask me a question -- any question. I know I am a complex, contradictory, and difficult person to understand, and often people just don't "get" me. So I'll do my best to explain myself here.
Anonymous questions WILL be allowed, though I don't guarantee I'll answer them. All questions will be screened.
Ask away!
Ask me a question -- any question. I know I am a complex, contradictory, and difficult person to understand, and often people just don't "get" me. So I'll do my best to explain myself here.
Anonymous questions WILL be allowed, though I don't guarantee I'll answer them. All questions will be screened.
Ask away!
Tags:
(And yes, I used ComicSans. Nyah Nyah!)
Take a picture showing your room, the room you are in, just as it is at this very moment. Don't clean, don't straighten, don't do anything, simply document what your surroundings are right now.
I did turn on the light box for the photo, because I don't have a flash.
The whole set
I did turn on the light box for the photo, because I don't have a flash.
The whole set
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[Error: unknown template qotd]
I'm from the generation of gay men immediately after the worst of the AIDS crisis. I came out in the late 1980s, and was well aware of the dangers of HIV and the necessity of safer sex by the time I became sexually active. I know in my gut that, had I been born 5 years earlier, I wouldn't have survived unscathed.
I turned 40 this year, and have so far remained HIV-negative.
The hardest part about it for me is that there's an entire generation of gay men before me who simply weren't there for me as I came into my own. Selfish, I know, but I was raised without a father, and I NEEDED all of those surrogate daddies in my life. I missed out on so much without them there to take this scared little boy under their wing. It makes me sad to think about what could have been...
I'm from the generation of gay men immediately after the worst of the AIDS crisis. I came out in the late 1980s, and was well aware of the dangers of HIV and the necessity of safer sex by the time I became sexually active. I know in my gut that, had I been born 5 years earlier, I wouldn't have survived unscathed.
I turned 40 this year, and have so far remained HIV-negative.
The hardest part about it for me is that there's an entire generation of gay men before me who simply weren't there for me as I came into my own. Selfish, I know, but I was raised without a father, and I NEEDED all of those surrogate daddies in my life. I missed out on so much without them there to take this scared little boy under their wing. It makes me sad to think about what could have been...
Tags:
 Dear Santa...Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In July I bought porn for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small} detailbear (10 points). In September I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the I-5 near LA (-76 points). In May on a flight to Bangladesh, I stole the emergency flight information card and sold it on eBay (-40 points). Last Tuesday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Last week I gave tianas_knife a Dutch Oven (-10 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-124 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, |
Rosa sat so Martin could walk.
Martin walked so Barack could run.
Barack ran so our children could fly.-- Anonymous
Tags:
Damn it! I hate doing memes like this.
But after making a Faustian bargain withlostncove, I hafta. Damn my curiosity!
So here goes:
1.urso strikes me as someone who would fit this.
2.kcfairy, hands down. No one else even comes close.
3.bluebear2, for geographic reasons, but I don't think he'd like it.
4.pocketlama. You should see his menagerie!
5.rick_ruben. Not "seems like," IS! Same goes for teledildonix.
6.rosetta_torture is pretty out there. I think that's why I like her.
7.michaelwesttn, or djmadadam. Music makes the party!
8.kennapea.
9.baxil. Anyone who can keep Kady entertained would definitely entertain me!
10.ogam would make a great daddy.
11.jcruisedirector.
12.lostncove. Seriously. Look at this 1990s picture!
13.twobraids. He certainly burns up Xtube!
14.cyphiz.
15.wallyontheroad would make a great sacred whore! And I've heard about aristotimos' secret past.
16.bachelor_farmer.
17.fzks_cub.
18.seespikerun.
19.kadyg. She is starting her own business, after all!
20.snousle. Don't always agree with him, but I respect it.
21.phreddd, or kj.
22.twobraids.
23.detailbear.
24.albadger, or beartech420.
25.ghostofaman, sonoranbear, or bikerbearmark.
26.atldaddybear. Not that it would be difficult!
27.the_irreverend, or gmjambear.
28.tianas_knife or bigmacbear would be hella funny!
29.genetikayos. We have 10 years of catching up to do!
30. You like me! You really like me!
Now, the rules: If you want to know the questions that go along with the answers above, you have to agree to play the game, and post this difficult meme on your LJ as well!
But after making a Faustian bargain with
lostncove, I hafta. Damn my curiosity! So here goes:
1.
urso strikes me as someone who would fit this. 2.
kcfairy, hands down. No one else even comes close.3.
bluebear2, for geographic reasons, but I don't think he'd like it.4.
pocketlama. You should see his menagerie!5.
rick_ruben. Not "seems like," IS! Same goes for teledildonix.6.
rosetta_torture is pretty out there. I think that's why I like her.7.
michaelwesttn, or djmadadam. Music makes the party!8.
kennapea.9.
baxil. Anyone who can keep Kady entertained would definitely entertain me!10.
ogam would make a great daddy.11.
jcruisedirector.12.
lostncove. Seriously. Look at this 1990s picture!13.
twobraids. He certainly burns up Xtube!14.
cyphiz.15.
wallyontheroad would make a great sacred whore! And I've heard about aristotimos' secret past.16.
bachelor_farmer.17.
fzks_cub.18.
seespikerun.19.
kadyg. She is starting her own business, after all!20.
snousle. Don't always agree with him, but I respect it.21.
phreddd, or kj.22.
twobraids.23.
detailbear.24.
albadger, or beartech420.25.
ghostofaman, sonoranbear, or bikerbearmark.26.
atldaddybear. Not that it would be difficult!27.
the_irreverend, or gmjambear.28.
tianas_knife or bigmacbear would be hella funny!29.
genetikayos. We have 10 years of catching up to do!30. You like me! You really like me!
Now, the rules: If you want to know the questions that go along with the answers above, you have to agree to play the game, and post this difficult meme on your LJ as well!
[Error: unknown template qotd]British Columbia or Yukon, Canada.
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[Error: unknown template qotd]
I'd clear out the Cigarettes.
I'd clear out the Cigarettes.
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(For kennapea)
I scanned my face and everything I was carrying on my person for the Face Your Pockets project (http://www.faceyourpockets.com/). At the time, I was carrying a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, my high school class ring (FKHS 1986), a Cingular cell phone that doesn't work, my keys, a handkerchief, my wallet on a chain, and a little LEGO figurine of Hagrid attached to the chain.
kennapea)I scanned my face and everything I was carrying on my person for the Face Your Pockets project (http://www.faceyourpockets.com/). At the time, I was carrying a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, my high school class ring (FKHS 1986), a Cingular cell phone that doesn't work, my keys, a handkerchief, my wallet on a chain, and a little LEGO figurine of Hagrid attached to the chain.
Tags:
- art,
- cigarettes,
- class ring,
- face,
- fkhs,
- hagrid,
- handkerchief,
- keys,
- lego,
- lighter,
- mckenna bassett,
- meme,
- phone,
- photo,
- pockets,
- scan,
- wallet
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[Error: unknown template qotd]It's really, really close to the Canadian border.
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OK, breaking the "no memes" rule today. Ganked from aristotimos.
1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A. I'm harnessed.
2) What was your dream growing up?
A. To be an astronomer.
3) What talent do you wish you had?
A. Autofellatio.
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A. Scotch on the rocks.
5) Favorite vegetable?
A. Broccoli.
6) What was the last book you read?
A. Darkness Visible by William Styron.
7) What the most embarrassing thing you're willing to admit?
A. I wet the bed until I was 15.
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A. Tabula rasa.
9) Worst Habit?
A. SMOKE!
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. Hell yes.
11) What is your favorite sport?
A. Walking.
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A. Both, I think.
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. Try really hard not to fart.
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. My old man deciding he didn't want to be a husband & father.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A. My big toes are so long, I am almost pedidextrous.
16) Do you have any pets?
A. None allowed where I live. (I *am* the pet.)
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. I'd be delighted!
18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
A. Ha ha ha! He gets it! GAY!
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. SCARY AS FUCK!
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A. Always wondered what it would be like to have a flaccid dick that dangled.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Crime, until the guilt kicked in.
22) What color eyes do you have?
A. Blue.
23) Ever been arrested?
A. Yep.
24) Bottle or can soda?
A. Bottle.
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A. Pay bills.
27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A. Sehome Hill.
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A. Skeptical.
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. That's private ;-) Second favourite thing: Computer.
30) Do you swear a lot?
A. I've said my share of shits and fucks.
31) Biggest pet peeve?
A. Smokers who throw butts on the ground.
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. Oaf.
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A. I'm beginning to.
35) Do you believe in God?
A. Which one?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A. Yes.
aristotimos.1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A. I'm harnessed.
2) What was your dream growing up?
A. To be an astronomer.
3) What talent do you wish you had?
A. Autofellatio.
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A. Scotch on the rocks.
5) Favorite vegetable?
A. Broccoli.
6) What was the last book you read?
A. Darkness Visible by William Styron.
7) What the most embarrassing thing you're willing to admit?
A. I wet the bed until I was 15.
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A. Tabula rasa.
9) Worst Habit?
A. SMOKE!
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. Hell yes.
11) What is your favorite sport?
A. Walking.
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A. Both, I think.
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. Try really hard not to fart.
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. My old man deciding he didn't want to be a husband & father.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A. My big toes are so long, I am almost pedidextrous.
16) Do you have any pets?
A. None allowed where I live. (I *am* the pet.)
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. I'd be delighted!
18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
A. Ha ha ha! He gets it! GAY!
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. SCARY AS FUCK!
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A. Always wondered what it would be like to have a flaccid dick that dangled.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Crime, until the guilt kicked in.
22) What color eyes do you have?
A. Blue.
23) Ever been arrested?
A. Yep.
24) Bottle or can soda?
A. Bottle.
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A. Pay bills.
27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A. Sehome Hill.
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A. Skeptical.
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. That's private ;-) Second favourite thing: Computer.
30) Do you swear a lot?
A. I've said my share of shits and fucks.
31) Biggest pet peeve?
A. Smokers who throw butts on the ground.
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. Oaf.
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A. I'm beginning to.
35) Do you believe in God?
A. Which one?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A. Yes.
Tags:
A decade ago, while on Semester at Sea, I wrote a piece (I guess you could call it a poem) about Globalization, titled "The United States of Borg."
Today, I received an email from the copyright coordinator at the Ministry of Education in Alberta, asking to reprint it in some courseware they are producing. I gladly told them yes, under a Creative Commons license, if they would send me a copy of the courseware when completed.
It seems I have made a mark on the world. The United States of Borg has turned out to be the most successful meme I have ever created, having been reprinted or quoted several times: here, here, here, and here.
You know, I always wanted to be a footnote!
Today, I received an email from the copyright coordinator at the Ministry of Education in Alberta, asking to reprint it in some courseware they are producing. I gladly told them yes, under a Creative Commons license, if they would send me a copy of the courseware when completed.
It seems I have made a mark on the world. The United States of Borg has turned out to be the most successful meme I have ever created, having been reprinted or quoted several times: here, here, here, and here.
You know, I always wanted to be a footnote!
Tags:
.
