A self-pity party... all are invited

[kevyn]

So I've been through anger, bargaining and depression (well I'm still in depression, actually)... don't see how denial's gonna work, but I'll be glad to get to acceptance. In the meantime, however, I have a question:

Is there truly someone for everyone? Or is that just a self-serving myth we tell ourselves and others with broken & lonely hearts, because the truth might just be too frightening to bear?

Is it possible that some people are just meant to be alone, no matter how much they try not to be?

What if not everyone has a "soul mate," or if you just missed them? What if the man of your dreams thinks you are too complicated and messed up to be involved with? Does that mean empty anonymous sex or celibacy are the only options left?

What if some men truly are islands?

Comments

What I would give to have a definitive answer....

[gmjambear]

I don't believe there is such a thing as "someone for everyone". I used to think that it was true but with the number of couples (as an example male/female) who end up in the press (e.g.: murder/suicides) I wondered if people are really meant to be together. I know those are extreme cases but to me some people are so into "being with someone" that they have a lot of difficulty living alone.

Also, I sometimes wonder about the people who are looking for a person with qualities of a "specific type" to fulfill their needs. I thought the same thing until redcub introduced me to bigmacbear nearly seven years ago. It has not been a perfect relationship. We have made our share of mistakes. We have coped with each other's character flaws traits. Some days it's not 100% perfection. But for us, there is this chemistry that makes me want to stay with him and vice-versa. I enjoy his company. Some people have verbally mentioned that we seem to be the right people for each other. (Even non-verbally, both sets of parents!)

I've always wondered if I'll be alone for the rest of my life and I was resigned to the possibility that I would be alone. I believe I still can live with that. But it was still important to still be social (e.g.: dinners, bear events, other things.)

Hnag in there.

Re: What I would give to have a definitive answer....

[bigmacbear]

I'll only add that I realized that chemistry exists when on several occasions we each realized we can't stay angry at one another for very long, no matter how angry we may get. That seems to be the key here.

Re: What I would give to have a definitive answer....

[kevynjacobs.livejournal.com]

> But it was still important to still be social (e.g.: dinners, bear events, other things.)

I know. And I try. But when I am social, it takes so much effort for me sometimes. I know deep down that the only reason I am being social is with the ulterior motive of meeting a man.

And my desire to have sex always overrides my ability to relate to people on a social level. I'm so damn needy and complex that I don't attract a lot of men.