Still on a long slow swan dive into oblivion....

I'm still without antidepressant meds due to bureaucratic snafus, and have been barely holding it together. I'm supposed to be going to the Dept. of Vocational Rehabilitation (DVR) seminar tomorrow morning, so why am I still awake tossing and turning and unable to sleep? My brain is going a thousand rpm, and the dark cloud that envelopes my soul is still there.

I'm still waking up in the mornings, disappointed that I hadn't died in my sleep.

( Click here if you want to read more depressive ramblings )

I JUST CAN'T FUCKING WIN!!!!!!

So today, the WA GAU medical coupon arrives. YAY! I can't use it to get counseling or mental health therapy, but at least I can use it to get my antidepressant prescription filled, right?

WRONG!

I haven't been able to refill my antidepressant meds ever since I lost my insurance. For most of the past year, I've been taking Sertraline (the generic form of Zoloft), which is the #1 the most prescribed antidepressant in the U.S. I have some refills left on my prescription, which I figured would get me through while DSHS and WCPC work it out over who I will be getting prescriptions from in the future and how I will be getting my mental health therapy.

So I go to the pharmacy where my prescriptions are on file. Here's the exchange with the RiteAid pharmacist:

Me: Can I use this new medical coupon to fill my prescriptions that are already on file?
RiteAid: (brightly) Sure! (takes coupon) Let me pull up your record. (clickety clickety clickety)
Uh-oh. Sorry, we can't fill this. Your insurance won't pay for Sertraline.
Me: WHAT??!?
RiteAid: (double checks) Sorry, no. It says they'll cover generic Wellbutrin, Prozac, blah blah blah ...(reads off a list of antidepressant drugs, many which I have taken in the past and don't work for me)... but not Zoloft.
Me: But, but, but ...(spluttering)... but it's a generic!
RiteAid: (sadly) I know. Let me check something. (looks at some paperwork to see if there's something she missed)... Nope. Not covered. You can pay it out of pocket, if you like.
Me: How much?
RiteAid: $77.
Me: $77 FOR A GENERIC?!?! I can't afford that!
RiteAid: (helpfully) I can also fax your doctor, requesting a different prescription, if you'd like.
Me: (in rising panic) She can't prescribe for me right now. I'm not a student at the moment, so it's not allowed!
RiteAid: I'm sorry. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Me: (banging head on counter in frustration)
...

*sigh*