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Note: Dr. Perry gave us the following assignment, to write a letter to her, telling her about ourselves and what we want out of the class.
Tell Me Letter Criteria (in a letter addressed to me, 1pg, single spaced max): Tell me: who you are, your strengths and obstacles in relationships, fears, and interpersonal goals. Define your world and how your role might affect your performance in present and future relationships in the social and the professional arena. Inform me of past communication classes you enjoyed and why? What are your goals for this class? Tell me what you expect to learn from your peers. Specifically what communication behavior would you like to work on this quarter as a goal and explain why. Finally, Let me know how I can help you achieve your goals. Be sure to add the above criteria to your letter. Please sign your letter and I will hold unto this assignment until midway through the quarter. You will then use this letter as a reflection on your progress.
Hagrid Jacobs
COMM 327
2008.04.08
“Tell me” letter
Dear Dr. Perry,
My name is Kevyn Jacobs, but everyone calls me “Hagrid,” because I look just like the lovable, loyal and somewhat socially inept half-giant from Harry Potter. I don't mind this association, because it gives people (especially young people) a template on how to interact with me. Before the character of Hagrid entered the zeitgeist, people looked at me and often made the assumption that I was a big, scary biker dude who was dangerous. Now, they see something slightly less menacing, more trustworthy. I allow this, because it benefits me, and Hagrid is a really cool character to identify with. On a college campus, filled with 20-year-olds who grew up on Harry Potter, the association is a natural one, and gives people a ready-made way to react to me, a person who does not “fit” into the mold. I realize they aren't seeing the “real” me when they regard me as Hagrid, but I find it eases my social interactions considerably.
I just turned 40 last month, and I returned to university last school year in order to complete the B.A. I started but did not complete when I graduated from high school in 1986. My major is General Studies, with an emphasis on technical communication, journalism, graphic design, and international studies (especially Canada). I plan on returning to my chosen field of editing/publishing/writing after I graduate in June.
I selected this class because interpersonal communication is a particularly weak area of mine. I am, by nature, a loner. I have never been especially adept at social interactions. Small talk often bores me, and I am afraid of interacting in a crowd at times – I feel vulnerable, inept, and insecure in many social settings. A computer geek and a bookworm from childhood, I always felt more comfortable with my face buried in a book or a computer screen than in actual face-to-face interaction. I had few friends growing up, and am only now realizing that I missed part of my social development because of this. I am now making up for lost time.
Ironically, I am completely comfortable speaking in front of an audience. I can perform well in an acting or comedic role. And I am very skilled at written communication. As long as I am in control of the interaction, I am fine. But put me in a social conversation, and I crumble.
I am particularly bad at reading social cues. Facial expressions, body language, and the social appropriateness of comments often elude me. It was only when I was 35 that it dawned on me that eye contact was vital for conversation – I have had to train myself to maintain eye contact while conversing. I have observed that my family of origin almost never makes eye contact while conversing, so I never learned the skill. I am still practicing this skill – making eye contact enough to show interest, that I am paying attention, but not so much that I appear aggressive or sexually interested.
I also sometimes lack empathy in social interaction. This is not to say I am an inconsiderate sociopath, just that I have to consciously remind myself to put myself in the other person's shoes. It doesn't come naturally to me.
I am particularly bad at interacting with men. A gay boy growing up, and socialized without much male influence (My father left when I was 5), I was always more comfortable around women than men. To this day, I find it easier to communicate interpersonally with women or gay men than with straight men. Small talk with men is hard for me.
It is my hope that, through this class, I can continue to learn and grow interpersonally. I want to improve my skills in communicating with other people, especially in small, social settings, with men, and with regards to body language and social cues.
I am also in a new relationship (3 months) with a wonderful man who loves me for who I am. This is actually a rather new experience for me, to be in relationship that is this serious, and I am hoping to improve my interpersonal skills in order to improve my relationship.
Sincerely,
Hagrid
Tell Me Letter Criteria (in a letter addressed to me, 1pg, single spaced max): Tell me: who you are, your strengths and obstacles in relationships, fears, and interpersonal goals. Define your world and how your role might affect your performance in present and future relationships in the social and the professional arena. Inform me of past communication classes you enjoyed and why? What are your goals for this class? Tell me what you expect to learn from your peers. Specifically what communication behavior would you like to work on this quarter as a goal and explain why. Finally, Let me know how I can help you achieve your goals. Be sure to add the above criteria to your letter. Please sign your letter and I will hold unto this assignment until midway through the quarter. You will then use this letter as a reflection on your progress.
Hagrid Jacobs
COMM 327
2008.04.08
“Tell me” letter
Dear Dr. Perry,
My name is Kevyn Jacobs, but everyone calls me “Hagrid,” because I look just like the lovable, loyal and somewhat socially inept half-giant from Harry Potter. I don't mind this association, because it gives people (especially young people) a template on how to interact with me. Before the character of Hagrid entered the zeitgeist, people looked at me and often made the assumption that I was a big, scary biker dude who was dangerous. Now, they see something slightly less menacing, more trustworthy. I allow this, because it benefits me, and Hagrid is a really cool character to identify with. On a college campus, filled with 20-year-olds who grew up on Harry Potter, the association is a natural one, and gives people a ready-made way to react to me, a person who does not “fit” into the mold. I realize they aren't seeing the “real” me when they regard me as Hagrid, but I find it eases my social interactions considerably.
I just turned 40 last month, and I returned to university last school year in order to complete the B.A. I started but did not complete when I graduated from high school in 1986. My major is General Studies, with an emphasis on technical communication, journalism, graphic design, and international studies (especially Canada). I plan on returning to my chosen field of editing/publishing/writing after I graduate in June.
I selected this class because interpersonal communication is a particularly weak area of mine. I am, by nature, a loner. I have never been especially adept at social interactions. Small talk often bores me, and I am afraid of interacting in a crowd at times – I feel vulnerable, inept, and insecure in many social settings. A computer geek and a bookworm from childhood, I always felt more comfortable with my face buried in a book or a computer screen than in actual face-to-face interaction. I had few friends growing up, and am only now realizing that I missed part of my social development because of this. I am now making up for lost time.
Ironically, I am completely comfortable speaking in front of an audience. I can perform well in an acting or comedic role. And I am very skilled at written communication. As long as I am in control of the interaction, I am fine. But put me in a social conversation, and I crumble.
I am particularly bad at reading social cues. Facial expressions, body language, and the social appropriateness of comments often elude me. It was only when I was 35 that it dawned on me that eye contact was vital for conversation – I have had to train myself to maintain eye contact while conversing. I have observed that my family of origin almost never makes eye contact while conversing, so I never learned the skill. I am still practicing this skill – making eye contact enough to show interest, that I am paying attention, but not so much that I appear aggressive or sexually interested.
I also sometimes lack empathy in social interaction. This is not to say I am an inconsiderate sociopath, just that I have to consciously remind myself to put myself in the other person's shoes. It doesn't come naturally to me.
I am particularly bad at interacting with men. A gay boy growing up, and socialized without much male influence (My father left when I was 5), I was always more comfortable around women than men. To this day, I find it easier to communicate interpersonally with women or gay men than with straight men. Small talk with men is hard for me.
It is my hope that, through this class, I can continue to learn and grow interpersonally. I want to improve my skills in communicating with other people, especially in small, social settings, with men, and with regards to body language and social cues.
I am also in a new relationship (3 months) with a wonderful man who loves me for who I am. This is actually a rather new experience for me, to be in relationship that is this serious, and I am hoping to improve my interpersonal skills in order to improve my relationship.
Sincerely,
Hagrid
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