A self-pity party... all are invited

[kevyn]

So I've been through anger, bargaining and depression (well I'm still in depression, actually)... don't see how denial's gonna work, but I'll be glad to get to acceptance. In the meantime, however, I have a question:

Is there truly someone for everyone? Or is that just a self-serving myth we tell ourselves and others with broken & lonely hearts, because the truth might just be too frightening to bear?

Is it possible that some people are just meant to be alone, no matter how much they try not to be?

What if not everyone has a "soul mate," or if you just missed them? What if the man of your dreams thinks you are too complicated and messed up to be involved with? Does that mean empty anonymous sex or celibacy are the only options left?

What if some men truly are islands?

Comments

[elynne.livejournal.com]

I don't belive in "soul mates" - in that "when our eyes met, it was Love At First Sight, happily ever after, kittens and rainbows, yay!" I don't buy it. The first part happens, sure; that's how I got into my relationship with the emotionally (and borderline physically) abusive Psycho Hose Beast. I walked into the room and said "Whoah - that one. I want that one! Yow!" Then lived with him, for two years of hell.

Relationships require several conditions to grow and flourish: they require two whole people; they require both people to be honest, forgiving, and willing to work at the relationship; they require time. "twu wuv at first sight" is a seed; nurturing is required to grow a relationship. And there are many kinds of seeds.

I don't think it's a matter of finding "the one that is right for you" - I think it's a matter of finding someone that is right for you. There are many possibilites out there. Yes, it can be frustrating to find them, and painful to deal with the ones that don't work out, for whatever reason. There are always others out there, who will love and accept you for who you are, with whom you can have a loving, fulfilling relationship.

You've been painfully rejected; you're hurting. I know how it feels, all too damn well. But this too will pass. There is love for you out there, hon. Hell, looks like there's a lot of love for you right here, even if it's not the kind you're looking for. :) *many hugs*

I think this is the problem

[kevynjacobs.livejournal.com]

> Relationships require several conditions to grow and flourish: they require two whole people

I don't think I am whole.

And 20+ years of therapy haven't helped at making me whole.